Trending News: Watch (And Laugh) At Dan Bilzerian Failing To Push Out A Jet Ski

Update: Whoops, we’ve been had. Somehow we forgot that Jack Wagner, a.k.a. versace_tamagotchi, is actually a guy who has been (hilariously) making memes about Dan Bilzerian. He is not his friend. Well played, sir. The original story is as is.

Quick Take

Sometimes when you’re famous, jacked and have more money than you know what to do with, your life can really suck. Ah, what am I saying, cry me a f*cking river Dan Bilzerian.

The Instagram and so-called poker phenom had one of his typical obnoxious days in California involving fake-breasted women, yachts and jet skis.


Out on the water with him was his buddy Jack Wagner who seems like a big-time enabler for one of social media’s most hated/envied personalities. He also has one of the most loathsome Instagram handles I’ve ever seen, versace_tamagotchi.

Anyways, apparently after a day out “fishing,” Bilzerian tried and failed to put the jetski back out on the water.

Here’s what his fanboy buddy had to say (I adjusted for some proper punctuation): “I know it all looks like fun and games, but Dan had to overcome tons of obstacles just like this to get to where he is. Hopefully, he gets it in the water soon so we can do some ‘fishing.’”

Ugh… And to think, some kids are actually looking up to these guys.

Drop This Fact

Bilzerian has aspirations to be an MMA fighter — although we’ll believe it when we see him (hopefully getting his ass handed to him) in the Octagon. 

Original Posted