As a past contestant on ABC’s The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, Ali Fedotowsky has dated a slew of men who thought they could charm her pants off. Now Men’s Health’s Girl Next Door, she uses the mistakes that other guys have made to answer your most pressing sex and relationship questions.
Her most recent work
My wife hates that I’m an early riser on weekends. But do we really have to cuddle all morning long?—Justin, Boston, MA
No, you don’t need to keep your limbs tangled up till noon. Just indulge her a bit.
You know the upside: G-rated cuddles can quickly lead to NC-17 fun. (And maybe even one of these 45 Sex Positions That Every Couple Should Try.)
But even if morning sex isn’t in the cards, there’s an easy way to earn a free pass to move about the house: Get up and ask if she wants her eggs scrambled or over easy.
I saw a nude selfie on my girlfriend’s phone. Is there a problem here?—Jeff, New York, NY
Just because she took a shot in her birthday suit doesn’t mean she’s sexting someone else–or that she should’ve sexted you.
Maybe she didn’t like the way her thighs looked and took it as a “before” shot to see what would happen to her body after a month of Pilates.
Or maybe she’s close to hitting “send” but isn’t sure you’d be into it.
Here’s one way to find out: Flirt with her some night via text. Take the lead. You may inspire her to take a selfie you haven’t seen.
Uh-oh. Her folks would like to be Facebook friends. What’s the most diplomatic way for me to decline?—Aaron, Denver, CO
Do you really want to turn them down, Aaron? Think about how that would look. It’s not just a friend request you’d be declining. It’s your chance to let them scope you out and make sure you’re a solid guy who treats their daughter well.
There’s no benefit to acting as if you have something to hide–and yes, “limited view” counts as hiding, so don’t pull that old trick.
Instead, take some time to give your profile a little scrub. Archive those spring break memories somewhere else, and show her ‘rents the mature, trustworthy, funny guy they’re hoping you are.
Slipping a woman your business card: smooth, or just lame?—Frank, Los Angeles, CA
Even if that card was hand-delivered by Ryan Gosling, I’d be tempted to crumple it. The gesture may seem bold, but it lacks effort. I want to feel special.
So try a less skeevy tactic: Strike up a conversation with a group of women without letting on that you’re into just one.
Then slip your number–on a napkin–to the woman you’re eyeing. It’s discreet and kind of quaint, and your card is less likely to end up in the recycling bin.
I’ve been working a lot lately, so our together time is suffering. How can I make it up to her?—Larry, Topeka, KS
Well, sending her a dozen roses is always a safe bet. But the surprise bouquet stops being so surprising if it becomes your go-to problem solver.
So why not just be straight with her? Acknowledge the problem and tell her how much you miss your date nights. Then lock in the first weekend you can and leave your laptop at the office.
But before you go make dinner reservations, ask her what she’d really like to do. She might just want some one-on-one time at home with you.